Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I can't put those talents on a resume
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
