Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Holy shit dude........stairs
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
