spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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