U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Randomize
