omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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