ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
