Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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