whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
