gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Dicks are not precious.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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