Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
