He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize