They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
