Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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