that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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