id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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