I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
