Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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