this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
