Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Just high enough for therapy.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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