you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
