Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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