Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Randomize
