So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
