there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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