I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
