How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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