There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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