So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
