You can't special order awesome
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
worst night to have a conscience
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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