at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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