I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
