I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
