I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
