The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
