wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
