It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
