If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
