Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I want a musical about memes.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize