bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Randomize
