he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
