You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
