marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
420 ftw
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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