Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
