Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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