so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
