When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
