Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
