In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
dude i'm inner monologue high
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
