the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
