will power is for people who don't want to get laid
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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