I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
