porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
