I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
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She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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