I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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