I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
All I want is dick and wine.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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