I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
