I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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