this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
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