i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
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