Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
