he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
